Amidst all of the turmoil that has been plaguing my life, or even our nation in its entirety, I finally managed to find some time to type words onto said blog.
First, a moment of silence for the sacred white noise that is this post’s cover image.
So, hello again, and here’s what’s been going on in my life: What with the regular attendance necessity for a certain Model UN I need to attend at the beginning of next week, stitched in with the general anxiety that results from the teachers refusing to hand us our papers, coupled up with the illegal streaming of Bojack Horseman on the Metro Rail every morning, strung in with Moot Court Memorial submissions and everything else that I am constantly procrastinating and refusing to do, such as the preparation of the Curriculum Vitae for a mandatory internship which is at the end of a semester that has flown past quicker than the eagle that scoops up the dead rat from the train tracks, along with the constant prodding of my lack of contribution in certain areas across my day, along with the distance that is making everything ten times harder to do, along with a book review, due in a week, about a book that could be one of my favourite books, provided I actually got around to reading it, exploding my reality and shredding it incomprehensibly apart, I found myself finally ticking off a few of my constant procrastinants, starting with this blog post that has been due for a while now.
Let me retract a bit.
Profound Occurrence One: A few days ago, I was walking back home from the Metro station, listening to the Blonde Redheads on loop when I saw a BMTC bus parked on the street, with a number and a route I don’t remember anymore. As I walked toward the bus, for some incomprehensible reason, I decided not to climb on the footpath, and walk by the main road near the bus instead. As I walked past half the bus, another bus was almost upon me, coming from the opposite direction, and for a moment, I was sandwiched between one bus and the other, and I immediately got nauseous and claustrophobic, which was a usual occurrence.
What made this interesting was what I thought in the seconds that began with the two buses and the ‘Sandwich’ and it happened to be the scenario wherein, if a car had come on the other side of the bus that approached, the bus driver would have avoided the car, and hit the poor lone boy walking along back to his house, rather than hitting the car which would prove less fatal to humanity in general i.e. lesser odds to loss of life, and now when I think of it, I don’t believe I can fathom an explanation to why the bus driver would act in that way. Why would he swerve toward me? Try picturing it, do you see it differently?
Profound Occurrence Two: The boy walked past the two buses and crossed the road to the other end, and happened to find something blue and black and tiny fluttering on the main road. The boy sees the fallen butterfly, slows down for a moment before continuing on his way.
But then, I turned around and went back, and as I saw a vehicle approach (a big truck), I hurried to save the butterfly. I ran onto the road, picked up the butterfly, and turned around and dropped it back on the side of the road, in the nick of time before the truck hurtled past me. That was when I noticed that the butterfly was dead.
The goddarn thing, wasn’t even alive, and if I had risked my life to save it, was there a point at all?
Profound Occurrence Three: Follow me in reverse now, as I go before the butterfly incident, before the Bus Sandwich and back onto the Metro Rail, a few stops behind. Somewhere a few stops before I got out, a woman walked in. Her face, was unsettling. If it would be possible to look expressionless, while at the same time, look happy, content, and at the same time, look sad and devastated, the woman seemed to be pulling that off. Her intellectual capacity had transcended to a point where she seemed to realise the futility of it all, and embrace this monotonous stupidity rather than to try and find meaning. Yes, I overthink, you might say.
But she turned and looked right at me, looking right at her, and shrugged and looked back out the window of the moving train. One stop later, she was gone.
Profound Occurrence Four: The day before the day before Yesterday. I was once again, walking on the main street, listening to The Life Of Pablo this time, and I happened to see a beggar, fallen on the roadside, in all probability, drunk, and completely out of touch with reality. His clothes were torn and the side of his head was sand, as he lay there in the sand and laughed repeatedly. I don’t know what he sounded like, because of said Kanye album, but he laughed like a crazy man.
Profound Occurrence Five: Yesterday, an explosive culmination. The Moot Court Memorial was killing me. And the rest of my team. But we worked on it, in hurried frenzy, and finished on time, two people pawning work off on a third. I was supposed to have left, but I went back, and helped the said third, hurriedly xerox, edit, mail, etc. It had rained. We finally heaved a sigh of relief, and retreated to buy some food. Just then, the pesticide man burst in on us with his barrage of smoke, making us feel as if we belonged in an ancient Nazi concentration camp. We rushed out with our food to sit in a basketball court to distance ourselves from the chemical clouds. After a few minutes of relaxation, we jump and twist and turn and manage to get to public transit, and I eventually grab my stuff and tumble out, onto the road that led home, into, the rain.
And, with my clothes getting sopping wet, with the bag cover working fine, and with fear of electric shocks leaving me fallen in the downpour with music blasting away in my ears, I run back home yearning sleep. I survived. I’m sure you did too.
I’ll be back again.